words in movies
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
PHOEBE: I might have.
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
CHANDLER: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . .
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . .
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in]
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
DUNCAN: Yeah, I know, I.
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
DUNCAN: But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.
JOEY: I got time.
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
ROSS: Oh, no no, I am.
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
ROSS: I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens.
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Monica: I don't know. Rachel I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles.
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Joey: (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!!
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Phoebe: Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off)
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.)
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Phoebe: Oh, I get more because Im dainty.
Ross: No, I dont want to hit you.
Monica: Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.
David: No, but I can't-
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Chandler: I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out.
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Chandler: Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that.
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
Chandler: Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Chandler: (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Ross: Who cares? I repel women.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Joey: I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.
Janine: Sure, listen I was gonna order some pizza, you wanna share one?
Rachel: Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever!
Janine: I don't think so.
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Janine: Yeah, I gotta go.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?
Joey: Im a man.
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Ross: Damn! I thought that was going to be romantic as hell!
Rachel: I did but she doesnt think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Monica: I dont think mine likes me either.
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Janine: Well I just thought
Janine: Well, Im sorry. I just thought Id try to make the place a little nicer.
Kim: I didnt read it.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Monica: Well, I think I shouldnt look directly at them.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Ross: But, wont she notice I have makeup on?
Monica: Im just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Hillary: Come on. I want to know.
Phoebe: But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice.
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Rachel: Im not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldnt.