words in movies
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Monica: And I have costumes.
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
Rachel: Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.
Joey: Im gonna be on two TV shows!
Monica: Im so happy for you!
Rachel: I gotI get a big pay raise!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Rachel: All right. (Hilda exits) Im a total pro!
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
Man: Actually, Im here about the assistant job.
Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uh
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Chandler: Oh no-no, I cant do that.
Monica: If you tell me, Ill tell you what Phoebe said.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Chandler: Thats it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Chandler: (angrily) Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
Rachel: Okay youre right. Ill hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldnt put good at noticing stuff on my resume. (Sets the plant down on her desk.)
Tag: Anyway, Im guessing you hired somebody.
Rachel: But I hired you!
Tag: I am?!
Tag: I cant believe it!
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Oh Mon, I laughed so hard
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Tag: (shyly) Nobody. I was just practicing.
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Terry: Joey Tribbiani! Im surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! (Gets up) I gotta go Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Chandler: Yknow when I said that because were getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch by guys.
Tag: Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay?
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
Tag: I dont think I should say.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
MONICA: Oh, wait, and I got a beeper!
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that!
Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Janice: Oh, Im sorry honey, Im so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! Im so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I cant breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Rachel: Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Rachel: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Chandler: Actually, I dont like martinis.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
Phoebe: Ohh, you guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Chip: Oh, like Id give up that job! Free popcorn and candy, anytime I want. I can get you free posters for your room.
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
The Saleslady: And could I get my ring back?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Monica: Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party.
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Joey: (on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it (the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Monica: I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
PHOE: So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did.
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Another Tour Guide: (standing up and removing his coat) Im Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?