words in movies
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Chandler: Im sorry, were just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.
Monica: I know.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Rachel: No please, show me how I begged you!
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Monica: Do you still wanna call em? I wanna call em.
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Joey: Oh I think we do.
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
Joey: Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Uh-hmmWait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Kristen: I love hiking!
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Kristen: I think its Tibidabo.
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Ross: Ill try that.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Joey: Youre right. (Mouths, "I know youll show me, right?)
Monica: I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.
Chandler: I still dont get it, we didnt do anything wrong.
Monica: I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Was that another joke?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: I am not gonna show you this!
Rachel: I wanna see it.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Rachel: There I am.
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Monica: I know.
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Ross: Now Im so happy.
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Ross: Mind if I mute?
Rachel: Thats what I was gonna say.
Rachel: Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.
Ross: I have been working out.
Rachel: Really? Wow, this is so much better than I
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: I think you're my favorite.
Monica: I don't care.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Rachel: Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I dont like guys with boring jobs.
Phoebe: I know.
Drew: Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, Im not looking for any thing serious.
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Chandler: No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud!
Emily: I understand that would be difficult.
Emily: I don't know, it's just
Ross: I know. I am, I am so sorry.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Emily: I did. Now I'm the idiot.
Monica: Well, I do.
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Monica: Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass.
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Monica: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.
Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)
Monica: I know!
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story!
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Joey: Doesnt seem like it's going to work, I mean
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Rachel: Oh yeah! I know.
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
Phoebe: Yayohyay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
Chandler: (jumping on the bed) I can't believe it! We're here!
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!
Rachel: Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....
Rachel: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Jim: I write erotic novels, for children.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!