words in movies
CHANDLER: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
MONICA: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi--
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
ROSS: I don't think tho.
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
TERRY: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute?
TERRY: F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
CAROLINE: I think my uterus just skipped a beat.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
DOCTOR: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
ROSS: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate.
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
RACHEL: Here. I thought you might be cold.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
RACHEL: Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets Smelly Cat. You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh!
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
KID: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
KID: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
MONICA: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
MONICA: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Rachel: Yeah, at the lecture, I told you that last week, you said you didnt mind.
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Ross: What should I wear, now Im all nervous.
Monica: Okay, well I do know you.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
MONICA: Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Leslie: Aw, youre right, youre right. Im sorry.
Phoebe: I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no.
Joey: Oh, now I have to go!!
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Mona: How many did you want? Im getting a hundred.
Rachel: Cant I just look at the handles on them?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Ginger: Nothing. I, I just remembered I have to leave.
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: (entering) So I nodded off a little.
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Chloe: Great. Ill ah, see ya then.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
David: Yeah, Im just, Im just in town for a conference. Umm, God you look phenomenal!
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Ross: What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there?
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Rachel: Ross youre not listening to me, I dont have time to stop.
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
Rachel: I dont have ten minutes!!
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
Rachel: But I told you, I didnt have the time!
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
Rachel: Well neither do I!
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Rachel: Well, Im also sending out.... good thoughts.
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
Actor: (Very melodramatically, and very badly) Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek...
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Rachel: No! Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Hi!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, Im not, Im not hungry.
Mark: You wanna talk, I mean I can come over?
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Rachel: Oh, thank you thats very helpful, Im glad you came over.
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Rachel: Okay, see now, what I just heard: blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah, blah.
Mark: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
Rachel: Hi! Oh, Im so glad you called.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
"First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay. But here I am singing on his wedding day!"
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.