words in movies
CHANDLER: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
MONICA: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi--
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
ROSS: I don't think tho.
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
TERRY: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute?
TERRY: F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
CAROLINE: I think my uterus just skipped a beat.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
DOCTOR: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
ROSS: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate.
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
RACHEL: Here. I thought you might be cold.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
RACHEL: Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets Smelly Cat. You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh!
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
KID: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
KID: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
MONICA: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
MONICA: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: I’m guessing she does.
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Rachel: No, I’m still going.
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Ross: Okay, and oh Im gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Chandler: Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Chandler: I never stopped loving you.
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Chandler: I understand.
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Rachel: Well, I took it.
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Ross: I really do.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Dr. Long: Ill be back in an hour to check you again.
Rachel: Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Rachel: Shoot. Oh, I can't believe I did this!
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Erica: I know.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these!
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!
Phoebe: I know.
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
Chandler: I think these are yours.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Ross: I don't think so.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Chandler: Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Rachel: Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much. I love you. Good night.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.