words in movies
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend hes Alan Alda.
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Ross: Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie.
Monica: I was always Joanne.
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Matress King: (on TV) Im close. Im cheap. Im the king.
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Ross: Oh shoot, tomorrows not so good, Im supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Chandler: (leaning in) Ill go.
Joey: I got a gig!
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Phoebe: Yeah, I cant say croissant. (realises) Oh my God!
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
Joey: Hey!!! Oww!! And Im bleeding.
Phoebe: Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.
Joey: All right. I cant see.
Phoebe: All right, I have ya. Oh God.
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Rachel: Well um, I dont.
Dr. Green: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt.
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Ross: I know.
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Ross: Nothing I do means anything, really.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Ross: Okay, okay, okay. (hugs her) Ill get the bagels.
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Phoebe: I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Chandler: Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Ross: I know that!
Rachel: Im sorry, let her?
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Dr. Green: Id love some juice. Thanks.
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Jester: Uh, may I help you?
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Ross: Why-why would I care about that?
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the bathroom.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Joey: I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
ROSS: I don't think tho.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Rachel: All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Monica: Im in love too! But in an orderly fashion.
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
Rachel: Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles!
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Monica: All right people listen, Ive got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Ticket Agent: Im afraid Im going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.
Phoebe: Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were (She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and purrs.)
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Rachel: That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I can go freshen up?
Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Housekeeper: Im afraid, Im not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Joey: Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come!
Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.
Ross: Look, I dont know what youre talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that Im going to Florida for a couple weeks.
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Eric: Great! But wh-whHow do you know where I live?
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
PHOEBE: I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Erica: I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center...
Melissa: (quietly) Im a party planner. Ill see you tomorrow. (Exits.)
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
Rachel: Well, there was a disaster in shipping and Ive got to get this order in. Honey, Im so sorry, but it looks like Im gonna be here all night.