words in movies
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Ross: I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
Joey: I need something sweet.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Monica: Well, I do.
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
Chandler: Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" Im happy all the time!
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Phoebe: I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?
Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play.
Rachel: I did not know you spoke French.
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Rachel: Oh, I really could.
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Steve: I silk-screen t-shirts now.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you!
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
{Oh, all right! Geez, I can't have any fun!}
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Girl: Whatd you think I was, a hooker?
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Chandler: (looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it.
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
Phoebe: Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry!
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Ross: So uh... I guess I wanna take off.
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Rachel: Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me.
Rachel: It's a shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good.
Ross: ...I hate waste.
Joey: That I can do.
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!!
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, stop what youre doing, I need envelope stuffers, I need stamp lickers.....
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
Rachel: Really, I shouldn't feel guilty?
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.