words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (Im assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Joey: Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin up, eh?
Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.
Joey: Well maybe I love ya.
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Joey: Oh I am!
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Chandler: Yeah, Im not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Joey: I like it.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Phoebe: (joining in) I love Jacques Cousteau!
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Chandler: I know!
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Pete: Well ah, Ive been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Monica: No, I really, really do.
Part I Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Part II Written by: Greg Malins & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Monica: I think so.
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Monica: What makes you think that I might not be okay?
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, dont! I forgot I am totally against that now.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Joey: Am I in it?
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
RACHEL: Because I promised Mindy I would.
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Monica: So, should I call him back?
Phoebe: What am I gonna do?
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: I called him.
Eric: She, now I knew that and now Im sweating. Look at me, Im really sweatingNow Im saying, "Look at me," Im getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
Monica: He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
Hombre Man: I heard ya.
Rachel: But I...
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: God, I am so glad you dont have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldnt even consider applying.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Ross: Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.
Eldad: Im a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Monica: I don't know!
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Monica: I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies!
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
MONICA: Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?