words in movies
(A woman walks up to Gunther in the background.)
Rachel: Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh youre in real estate!
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Rachel: Im not vanilla! Ive done lots of crazy things! I mean I got-I got drunk and married in Vegas!
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Melissa: Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Monica: A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
(Shes about to get in when )
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
Frank Jr.: I haven't slept in four years!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and it does sound like something I would do.
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(Owen comes running in.)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
(Joey walks in)
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
(Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)
(Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma)
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.