words in movies
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in (Looks to Ross.)
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in!
Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?
Gary: Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
Gary: So you uh, you checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You-you checked the Post?
Gary: In a minute. You-you checked today's Post?
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Ross: (rushing back in) What?! I wh-, whats wrong?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
Tommy: Whats in the cup, Ross?
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Lauren: (whispering) She got a job in L.A.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
(Monica and Chandler come running in.)
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Jason: Yeah, come on in.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Monica: Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, were gonna break-up instead.
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
Ross: We're all alone in an empty apartment.
Kate: Flights in an hour. I-I gotta go.
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
Girl: Why dont you look in the mirror, scrud.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
[cut to onstage with Lauren standing in for Kate, the doorbell rings.]
Monica: (from the bathroom) Im in the shower!
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Vince: You made him a candle light dinner in the park?
JULIE: No Cobb, as in cobb salad.
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
(Sergei says something and leans in to kiss her, but just as hes about to....)
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.]