words in movies
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Chandler: (leaning in) Ill go.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Guy: Gotcha. (he and his helper walk in carrying the racecar bed.)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Rachel: You remember not having sex in high school, right?
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Am I in it?
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
(Chandler's date walks in)
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
(Chandler enters, sees Rachel in the dress and starts laughing)
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school?
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
The Saleswoman: I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
MNCA: Hi. I'll be ready in just a second.
CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
Celia: I can't stand this! He's got his claws in my...
(cut to later in the day)
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Monica: (closing the fridge in disgust) Shoot! Were out of soda.
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
Chandler: Because, if Santa and the Holiday Armadillo? (Ross nods) ...are ever in the same room for too long the universe will implode. Merry Christmas!
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldnt work past it together...
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, she's lying in bed wide awake.]
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?