words in movies
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Monica: It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
Monica: Great. So the ball is in his court?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Ross: Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Chandler: Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub.
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Monica: Ooooh! (Rachel now succeeds in getting downstairs.) And-and-and what-what's this? (Points again.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure. (To Monica) All right, whose court is the ball in now?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
[In the hall.]
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
Ticket Agent: (looking at her computer terminal) Theres one leaving in thirty minutes.
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Joey: When theyre hungry enough, theyll come in.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Chandler: It happened in London.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
Chandler: Okay, what is in here? Rocks?
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
Chandler: Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.
Ross: Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Eric: (finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
(In the kitchen.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Marc: No nonsense! Were all in this together.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
The Teacher: What do you think? You in the blue shirt.
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Monica: Oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Gunther: Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.
[Once again, Chandler has a bite in his mouth and can't come back.]
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
Joey: No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Monica: You still want to move in together right?