words in movies
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
(The gang is shocked.)
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler about the letter.]
Ross: (calming down) Yeah, I know. I mean, no, youre right. Yeah I guess Ill let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this.
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Phoebe: Okay, well umm, I know that we havent talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Rachel: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!
Monica: Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME!
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
Chandler: Somebody is gonna pick us.
Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough!
Monica: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Ross: So this is an annual thing?
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Chandler: (looking through the peephole again) Ross' shirt is torn.
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Ross: What is that?
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
(Monica is now smiling)
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Rachel: Ewww, is that what that is?
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Rachel: Ah, this place is great!
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Chandler: Your Veal Chop is $34,95!
Joey: (looking a little agitated now) Looks like someone IS the ladies!!
Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet..
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Rachel: oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Sarah: But you just said "What's mine is yours"?
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
JOEY: (emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Rachel: Oh, no, no. That is a doll.
Rachel: Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty.
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Monica: This is huge!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Rachel: (looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Rachel: You're fly is open, Geller!
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.
Monica: Rachel, this is yours.
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?