words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
Ross: Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you...
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Ross: How hot is this?!
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Rachel: (wakes up suddenly and realizes where she is) Oh right.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Is Joey Tribbiani here?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
(Chandler is completely astounded.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, is Monica here?
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Monica: Oop, your cake is ready!
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Monica: The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Chandler: Oh, is that against the rules?
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
(They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Monica: Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is now showing Rachel around.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Rachel is now three sheets to the wind and Joey is watching her.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.]
Monica: Joey that is so sweet.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Fireman #1: Yeah, most of the damage is pretty mostly contained in the bedrooms.
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
[Scene: Hospital, the guy is in a coma and Mon and Pheebs are visiting.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)