words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Scene: The waiting room, Frank is on the phone as Rachel approaches.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys planned wedding place, Monica is dragging Emily in.]
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
PHOEBE: Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Ross: Oh that is so great! That's
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
Ross: You're nose is bleeding!
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Monica: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it'sEmily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)
Ross: My marriage is over.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Rachel: Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Monica and Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing a crossword puzzle.]
Monica: So-so there is no party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.