words in movies
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
(Finally, the baby is delivered and starts crying.)
Doctor: Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Joey: Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Phoebe is giving Monica another massage.]
Joey: This is crazy.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
Chandler: (To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Rachel: Oh there is no way.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Oh, this is just terrible.
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!
Joey: (holding up the Queen of Clubs) Is that your card? (He winks and smiles.)
Rachel: Ugh, she is a slut!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Chandler: Her ankle is what youre watching?
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Ross: Oh that is quite all right maam. (Elizabeth exits.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing Monopoly.]
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her date.]
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
Phoebe: That is.
Rachel: No! There is.. there is noone else!
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
The Producer: This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
{Transcribers Note: This is where Part II begins, which means this is now episode 616.}
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Phoebe: What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!
Ross: Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you...
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.