words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
MONICA: Art it is.
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[everyone is quiet, unsure if she's done or not]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar wearing huge dog-slippers]
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
Joey: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Phoebe: Ahh, his work is done.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Host: This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca...
[Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: What time is it?
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, its like all Im doing is running back and forth from the huddle.