words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Phoebe: This is so cool!
Chandler: Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there. (Points)
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
[Time Lapse, the gang is now watching Law & Order. By the way, the entire rest of the episode takes place in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? Something to think about.]
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.
Caitlin: Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money.
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Chandler: (smiling) Well, what is it?
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
[Time lapse, Rachel is coming back from Chandler and Joey's.]
Monica: Yeah, what is it?
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Chandler: (To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another time lapse, Monica is seeking advice from Rachel and Phoebe about possible replacement earrings.]
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Rachel: Who is being loud?
Monica: I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Janine: Sure, New Years Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Paolo: (something in Italian, he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]
MONICA: Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)
Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?
Shelley: Is Brian...?
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Ross: What, what is it?
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: He is?
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: Aqui est�. (Here it is!)
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.]
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Monica: W-wait. What is that?
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)