words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.]
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Robin: I have a feelin... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist.
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
[Scene: A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
[Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.]
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
TV Announcer: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
JO LYNN: This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Monica: That is never good.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: Where is this party?
Rachel: OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important.
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Julie: Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler.
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
[everyone is quiet, unsure if she's done or not]
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Phoebe: So is it like art?
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Frank: I dont know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I dont know.
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.]
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Isabella: Yeah, for you. Is that the list?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Is it the Italian guy?
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Chandler: Umm, this is nice.
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
(There is a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica is trying to return her bed.]
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...