words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Rachel: That is so cool.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Joey: (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe: My Father is Chuck Magioni?
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Joey: What is it?
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Customer: It is beautiful, but Im gonna use this one. Now, if youll excuse me.
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Joey: Maybe she wants you to learn something. Huh? Now is there anything youre really bad at yknow, sexually?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
<Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Time lapse, Rachel is coming back from Chandler and Joey's.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
[Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants measured.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Julie: Hi. Is this your first?
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
Joey: And what is his name?
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
[Scene: Room 816, Dr. Drake Remoray is entering.]
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Okay is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]