words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.]
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Robin: I have a feelin... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist.
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
[Scene: A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
[Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.]
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
TV Announcer: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7"
Monica: This is kind of a classy place.
<Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away>
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandlers: Dude, none of this is cool.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
[Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing]
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: What is it?
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Monica: Ok, what is this?
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Ross: Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
(Dirk is confused)
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
(Rachel is puzzled)
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Monica: What is the big deal?
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Receptionist: Sorry, everyone is booked!
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Chandler: Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?
Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]