words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful...
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
ROSS: Well uh, it's cause he had a thing with, wi-, with the thing.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Phoebe: I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Monica: Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.
Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Ross: I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Chandler: Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.
RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
CHANDLER: Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish!
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actuallyit's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?
Mike: Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!
Ross: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time.
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Joey: Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Monica: So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Chandler: Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped.
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.)
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Ross: (surprised, chuckling nervously) Of course it's your friend Tanya. (looks up frightenedly)
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.