words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful...
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Joey: It's Joey.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Joey: It's never gonna happen.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Ross: Yeah, I mean... I think when it's your shot, y'know, you-you know it's your shot. Did it... feel like your shot..?
Ross: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound.
(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Rachel: I mean it's my fault.
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
Rachel: But, it's not raining.
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: It's all right.
Phoebe: Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet!
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not bad.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Ross: Again, it's not that he
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
Monica: It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Emily: I don't know, it's just
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Rachel: I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Rachel: Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.
Rachel: It's Le Poo.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Joey: But it's dark out.
Joey: I kinda feel like it's my fault.
Joey's Doctor: It's kidney stones.
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
Monica: I know, it's great!
Chandler: Well, I think it's very brave what you said.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer.
Josh: Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
Phoebe: It's okay to laugh right?
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
Doctor: I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before.
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Joey: Oh, it's perfect!
Ross: I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Monica: Yes it's true.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
Phoebe: Well, it's going okay.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Joey: It's not.