words in movies
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Monica: Isn’t it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Chandler: Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then.
Monica: (quickly) Not it!
Chandler: Not it! Damn it!
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Mark: Oh, hi. Its Mark.
Mark: Its for me.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Ross: Hi! Its me.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Ross: Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us?
Monica: Its okay, its okay.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Rachel: Ooh, it was only okay.
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Phoebe: All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
(He licks his fingers, liking it. He offers Chandler a taste.)
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Rachel: We use it!!
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
Ross: It didnt.
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Chandler: Its horrible.
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. Its three.