words in movies
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Monica: Isn’t it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Chandler: Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then.
Monica: (quickly) Not it!
Chandler: Not it! Damn it!
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Monica: (shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Monica: So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Ross: What-what is it?!
Rachel: Yes it is!
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Ross: Uh-huh, that's why they call it Staten Island.
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Chandler: (pouting) It was a car backfire!
Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Chandler: Wow, y'know when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
Joey: Oh, I don't know . Yeah, can't do it.
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Joey: Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. (Thinks about it.) Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor
Chandler: Yes I did, and I think you should do it.
Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
(She throws it straight, and Monica makes a big deal about catching it.)
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
Ross: Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it.
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Joey: You got it!
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Im fairly intuitive and psychic. Its a substantial gift.
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!