words in movies
Monica: Honey, Im not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but Im going to wear them all the time. Youll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, its actually her.)
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Joey: So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? Youre gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself without a husband?! You cant be a single mother alone! Youre gonna ruin your life!
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Monica: How'd it go?
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
Rachel: Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Jamie: It looks like her.
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Monica: (looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.
Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
Rachel: No, forget it.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.
Rachel: There were times when it wasn't even me.
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.
Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?
Monica: It was.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Ross: Yeah, save it for the cab, okay.
Ross: Save it.
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Ross: I'll get it.
Ross: I got itI'm getting it!
Matt: Sometimes the dialogue itself is just so funny and youllwell be rehearsing during the week and you justwhatever-whatever the joke is; its so funny we cant get through it in rehearsal and just
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: It is.
Lydia: It isn't.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
Ross: I got it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
Ross: No, you started it.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: He started it!
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)