words in movies
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: Can't get the monkey off your back? Then put it in your mouth...
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
LIPSON: I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today.
ROSS: I was thinkin' about it.
ERICA: Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing?
JOEY: Yeah it is. . . what?
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
PHOEBE: Thinkin' about it.
ROSS: Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
ROSS: Good morning. Hey pal, look who I brought. It's your old friend Harry Elefante. [Marcel grabs the elephant doll and throws it to the ground]
ROSS: I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
CHANDLER: Uh, yes, yes it is.
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
JOEY: Forget about it.
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
VAN DAMME: Normally, I would not do it.
MONICA: Say it.
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
["Looks Like We Made It" starts playing and we enter a whole sequence of Marcel and Ross having fun in the city.]
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: Its not a club.
Monica: What is it?
Ross: Well why not?! Shell-shell love it! Its the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Rachel: Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off?
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Ross: Oh myCome here! Come here! (He hugs her.) Its okay. Everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.
(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Monica: What is it?
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and(Stops suddenly.)
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Monica: Im sick of the signs! Its too fast, Im happy the way things are!
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Monica: How'd it go?
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
Rachel: Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Jamie: It looks like her.
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Monica: (looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.
Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?