words in movies
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
JOEY: Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
ROSS: You got it.
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Monica: What-what was it you were gonna tell us?
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
(Of course its too late for that.)
Phoebe: Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, cause we dont...
Rachel: Blow it.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Phoebe: Oh, just go. Youre never gonna get it!
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Pete: So you like it?
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well....
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Monica: But, I put some honey in it.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Rachel: What time is it?
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Ross: Okay, its coffee.
Ross: Its-its hot
Tommy: Ice coffee? Tell me its ice coffee!
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Ross: No, but its-its-its hot!
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
All: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Joey: Well what is it?!
RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Monica: Anyway, how did it go with Kate?
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
Pete: Hey Monica, how's it going.