words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Chandler: Its a dog.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Man: Where did you have it?
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Monica: What-what was it you were gonna tell us?
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
(Of course its too late for that.)
Phoebe: Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, cause we dont...
Rachel: Blow it.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Phoebe: Oh, just go. Youre never gonna get it!
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Pete: So you like it?
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well....
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Monica: But, I put some honey in it.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Rachel: What time is it?
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Ross: Okay, its coffee.
Ross: Its-its hot
Tommy: Ice coffee? Tell me its ice coffee!
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Ross: No, but its-its-its hot!
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
All: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Joey: Well what is it?!
RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Monica: Anyway, how did it go with Kate?
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.