words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it!
Rachel: Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won’t do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Joey: Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
Joey: Ok, yeah, got it.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Amanda: Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training.
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Joey: Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it.
Rachel: I know. Joey: I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted.
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Monica's Boyfriend: (returning) Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. (Hands it to Monica and sits down.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: I can't believe it! I got a second interview!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Ross: And it could've just as easily have been a bullet.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Ronni: Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
Rachel: Oh its important!
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Chandler: (disgusted) What does it say?!
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
C.H.E.E.S.E.: The shipment never made it through Omaha?
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Paul: Yes it does.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then its not on the wall yet.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Woman: Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.
Rachel: Im gonna do it too!
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
The Dry Cleaner: Ive never seen it!
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, its my moms. So this is the kitchen.
The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Paul: I know. I like it up here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Oh please, he didnt hear it! He didnt hear it!!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
[Russ enters Central Perk. He looks like Ross, except for his chin and hair (it is David Schwimmer in a dual role).]
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.