words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it!
Rachel: Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won’t do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Joey: Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
Joey: Ok, yeah, got it.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Amanda: Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training.
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Joey: Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it.
Rachel: I know. Joey: I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted.
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
Ross: Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it.
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Joey: You got it!
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Im fairly intuitive and psychic. Its a substantial gift.
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
["Looks Like We Made It" starts playing and we enter a whole sequence of Marcel and Ross having fun in the city.]
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)
Joey: Thank you! So, did-did he get it?
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Monica: No it is not!
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
(He starts taking his time opening it. Finally Monica snaps.)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Rachel: Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Ross: Ohh, it was the best!
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Chip: (on machine) Hey Monica, its Chip.
Joey: (entering) Hey-hey-hey you made it!
Rachel: It won't come off!
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Phoebe: I know. Use it.
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.