words in movies
Ross: You got it.
Monica: It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Monica: He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try
Danny: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Phoebe: (excited) Shut it down.
Rachel: No-no, but I support it.
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: (to Danny) We'll be right there! (To Rachel) Can't you just say it starts later?
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Danny: Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it.
Danny: You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle. (Leaves.)
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
MONICA: It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
(It starts snowing.)
Chandler: Well, you dont you have Captain Hook explain it to her.
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
Rachel: I don't know... sometimes it doesn't.
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Gunther: Its all right. Sweetheart.
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: Oh Pheebs, thats great. It doesnt count.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: Can't get the monkey off your back? Then put it in your mouth...
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Guy: Looks good. Ill take it.
Guy: Its-its-its almost dead!
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Monica: (she reaches out for it and stops) Oh God! I gotta go! (runs out)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
All: Oh, I got it.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Rachel: Oh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Chandler: Its like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Rachel: (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isnt it beautiful?
(At this point, Buffay, the Vampire Layer and Nasforatool start to get it on. Of course, since this is network TV, we can only see the reactions of the gang to the film playing off screen.)
GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?
EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Hey! Its starting to snow.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Joey: Its not that far! Just drop!
Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.
Ross: Hey, I can handle it! All right?
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?