words in movies
Chandler: No, it wasnt you.
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Ross: Yknow I would its just painful.
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
Monica: Dont you see? Its the perfect crime!
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just I got so angry just looking at her (Looks at Phoebe) face.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Ross: Its not for me, its for Rachel.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Monica: Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) Youre not gettin it.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Monica: I would do it but she thinks Im attracted to her!
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Monica: Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, youll know its mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, theres a very noticeable rip.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: Oh I dont know that it would.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
Eric: Yeah. (They hug.) Maybe its for the best. You smell just like her.
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Rachel: Its gonna be up all night!
Rachel: Its gonna poop!
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Rachel: Are you seriousReally?! Its in such good condition.
Rachel: Its moving.
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
CHANDLER: Heads it is.
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Joey: Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting).
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Rachel: Okay (desperately hands the receiver over) no, you do it.
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God, doing me.
MONICA: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Rachel: I cant! Its too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. (points to her) Look at her, shes even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... (starts to cry) swans.
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in here? (licks his lips)
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
JOEY: Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.
Rachel: (pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We We are not going to let it be a problem.
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
MONICA: If it makes anybody feel better, then we can just forget the thing, and we'll just do the gift.
JOEY: So, so how did it happen?
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
RACH: It was unbelievable!
RACH: Oh, it ended very well.
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
ROSS: [impatient] Play it.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
[She tastes it, and obviously hates it.]
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
[Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.]
RACH: Hey Phoebs, how'd it go with Scott last night?
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Rachel: I still dont get how you know when its false labour.
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Man: For God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel!
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
Chandler: Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
Rachel: Oh, its just like a bloodbath in here today.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
MONICA: Well put it back.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Amy: Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming...
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
ROSS: It uhh, it won't go back.
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
MNCA: Just waiting for it to stop bubbling.
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
JOEY: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.