words in movies
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Chandler: Op, y'know what though, its kindve a girlie briefcase.
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Rachel: Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.
Monica: No, its okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: So how does it look?
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Why is it sick?
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
Rachel: Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed.
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
Chandler: Okay, okay, you got it!