words in movies
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Chandler: Janice?
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
Janice: Just us.
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Janice: Each.
Chandler: That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. (to Janice) I've always wanted to know...
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.
Janice: Kiss me!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
(Janice enters.)
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: Why not?
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Janice: He does?
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Why?
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: Why?!!
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: What?!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Janice: Oh my God!
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Oh... my...
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?