words in movies
Janice: Oh my God!
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
[Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.]
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Oh... my...
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Janice: So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-Ive got to give my marriage another chance.
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Ow!
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: What?
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Janice: Kiss me!
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Just us.
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
Janice: Each.
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
(Janice enters.)
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
JANICE: Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
JANICE: Oh, my, god.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
JANICE: Yes, I am.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
JANICE: Helloo!!
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: No, Janice.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Joey: This is Janice.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Janice: For Chandler!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)