words in movies
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: What?
Janice: Ow!
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Chandler: You remember Janice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Janice: Just us.
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Janice: Kiss me!
Janice: Each.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
(Janice enters.)
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
JANICE: Oh, my, god.
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
JANICE: Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
JANICE: Yes, I am.
JANICE: Helloo!!
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Chandler: No, Janice.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Joey: This is Janice.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Janice: For Chandler!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Janice: What are you doing here?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Janice: We should?
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: Are you being British?!
Janice: What woman?!
Janice: Where is this party?
Janice: I dont know.
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?