words in movies
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: What?!
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Joey: B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her.
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Janice: Oh boy, I just love to sing!
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.
Monica: Janice?!
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
Janice: Actually, I should get going.
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Bye-bye.
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Janice: When?
Janice: I know! And Im just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Janice: Okay, Chandler, come on!
(Janice runs into the bedroom.)
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Janice: Chandler!
Janice: No! No! I wanna see you take-off.
Janice: Chandler?
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
CHANDLER: Janice, you're--
Chandler: (entering, with Janice in tow) Hello!
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Janice: Okay.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Janice: Well yeah!!
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
Janice: What is wrong now?!
Janice: Yes! Yes! You did!
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Janice: We're baack!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Janice: Why not?
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?