words in movies
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: What?!
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: What?
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Janice: Ow!
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Janice: Kiss me!
Janice: Each.
Janice: Just us.
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Janice: I brought you something.
(Janice enters.)
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: I had them made special.
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
JANICE: Helloo!!
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
JANICE: Oh, my, god.
JANICE: Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
JANICE: Yes, I am.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Joey: This is Janice.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
Chandler: No, Janice.
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Janice: For Chandler!
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Janice: We should?
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: What are you doing here?
Janice: Are you being British?!
Janice: What woman?!
Janice: Where is this party?
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Janice: I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, Ill see you tonight.
Janice: Oh my God.