words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Chandler: Janice?!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: Why not?
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Janice: He does?
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Why?
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: What?!
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Janice: Chandler Bing!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janice: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
Janice: Oh... my...
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]