words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
(A commercial for the Mattress King, Janices ex-husband, comes on TV.)
Chandler: (to Janice) Dont look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
(Joey goes to the door, but stops and looks through the window at Janice and the Mattress King, her ex-husband, kissing.)
Janice: Oh my God.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: What?
Janice: Ow!
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Just us.
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Janice: Kiss me!
Janice: Each.
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
(Janice enters.)
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
JANICE: Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
JANICE: Oh, my, god.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
JANICE: Yes, I am.
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
JANICE: Helloo!!
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: This is Janice.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
Chandler: No, Janice.
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Janice: For Chandler!
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Janice: What are you doing here?
Janice: We should?
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Janice: Are you being British?!
Janice: What woman?!
Janice: Where is this party?
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)