words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
(A commercial for the Mattress King, Janices ex-husband, comes on TV.)
Chandler: (to Janice) Dont look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
(Joey goes to the door, but stops and looks through the window at Janice and the Mattress King, her ex-husband, kissing.)
Janice: Oh my God.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Actually, I should get going.
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.
Monica: Janice?!
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Bye.
Janice: Bye-bye.
Janice: When?
Janice: Oh boy, I just love to sing!
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Janice: I know! And Im just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Janice: Chandler!
Janice: Okay, Chandler, come on!
(Janice runs into the bedroom.)
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Janice: No! No! I wanna see you take-off.
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
CHANDLER: Janice, you're--
Chandler: (entering, with Janice in tow) Hello!
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Janice: What is wrong now?!
Janice: Yes! Yes! You did!
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Janice: Okay.
Janice: Well yeah!!
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Janice: We're baack!
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: Why not?
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?