words in movies
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Janice: Chandler?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Janice: Why not?
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Janice: Why?
Janice: He does?
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: What?!
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
Janice: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: Oh... my...
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
[Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.]
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Chandler: Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice.
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)