words in movies
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Janice: What?!
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Janice: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Janice: Oh... my...
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
[Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.]
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. (to Janice) I've always wanted to know...
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Chandler: Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice.
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)