words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: (laughs) Why would you want to do that?
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Joey: No. No. No.
Joey: No. Rosita does not move.
Joey: As in Rosita does not move.
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]
Rachel: Joey, Joey I am so sorry.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
Joey: (slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!
Joey: Thats true.
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: No I wont.
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
(Joey and Rachel reach the landing just as Chandler closes the door.)
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Joey: Francette? What is she? A couch?
Joey: Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: No its not weird, its a miracle!
Rachel: Its not a miracle Joey! Im sure theres some explanation.
Joey: Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen!
Rachel: Joey, I really dont
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Joey: Miracle!
Joey: Someone like an angel?
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Joey: Yeah, me too. (He flips up his armrest in disgust.)
Joey: Fine.
Joey: No. Really?
Joey: (quietly) My chair heels itself.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Joey: Your chair?!
Joey: So, there was no miracle?!
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Joey: How do you figure?
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
Joey: Thats right!
Joey: Yeah! We are!
(Rachel whispers in Joeys ear.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Ahhh (To Rachel) Eh?
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Joey: Now you cant tell anyone, but uh I put on shiny lip balm.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. Im gonna go see my agent.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
[Chandler and Joey come sprinting in]
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi?
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Joey: (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Ohh.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Which goes where?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: You got screwed.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Joey: Shut up!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)