words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
JOEY: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
JOEY: Put it on.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
JOEY: Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: How come you have two?
JOEY: Get out.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
JOEY: What is with your nose?
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
JOEY: Lookin' good Mr. Cotter.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: A swimmer!
Joey: Peanut butter!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: Hey man, what's up?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Joey: You got it!
Joey: Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat?
Joey: (shocked) What?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Joey: Dude you said, "No!"
Joey: I don't believe this!
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Get out!!
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Joey: Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat.
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Joey: What?!
Joey: No!
Joey: Wh-what?! Why?!
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Don't come out here!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Joey: Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.
Joey: Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.
Joey: Yeah, what-what's going on?
Joey: Aww, there we go.
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Joey: Ooh, so close.
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Joey: (betting all 100) Let's ride.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
(Raymond and Joey both eat a spoonful and Joey turns to Raymond and says )
Joey: Pheebs!!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!