words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Joey: They do!
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Joey: Well actually
Joey: Dude, you soooo need this car.
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Joey: Like what?
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Joey: Oh, and plus Im 1/16th Portuguese.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Joey: Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)
Joey: Yes!
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey: All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!
Joey: No.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah.
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Joey: Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah!
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Joey: And there it is.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
Joey: No.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf?
Joey: I need something sweet.
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Awwww!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: A little salami.
Joey: Pastrami.
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Joey: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.
Joey: Feel better now?
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: Hey.