words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Joey: They do!
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Joey: Well actually
Joey: Dude, you soooo need this car.
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Joey: Like what?
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Joey: Oh, and plus Im 1/16th Portuguese.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Joey: Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)
Joey: Yes!
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey: All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!
Joey: No.
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Boyfriend?
Joey: Oh hi!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Joey: Okay.
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Joey: Yknow whats more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Yknow whats even more generous than that?!!
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
(Joey does the 232 divided by 13 bad news look.)
Joey: Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Joey: Oooooh
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Joey: Oh my God, youre back!
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Joey: Glove salesman!
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Joey: What?! Noooo (Phoebe gasps.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Big Brother.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Joey: Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler?
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Joey: Oh.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Phoebe: Joey.
Rachel: Joey?!
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Joey: Hey Monica!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Joey: This is for my boat, pretty cool huh?
Joey: There are?
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Joey: I know!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: No we werent!
Joey: Pick me!!
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Joey: Okay thats fair.
Joey: Yeah.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Joey: Uhh, Chandler's not here.
Joey: Are you bachelors?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Joey: Dude!
Joey: Woo-hoo!!
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: I am so sorry man.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: North route!
Joey: That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.