words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Joey: Thats always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Joey: Aaaah
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Joey: Really?!
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Joey: Oh my, oh my God!
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Joey: Hey! So?
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Well what do I know?! Im not a doctor!
Joey: You sure?!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Joey: Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Joey: Hey uh, whats with the candy?
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Joey: Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
Joey: Sure. "Monica."
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, I just I feel terrible.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: All right now, so? What do you think?
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: Well, I was due.
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Joey: What?
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: Really?
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Joey: No plans, huh?
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Angela: Hi, Joey.
Joey: My god, Angela.
Joey: You look good.
Joey: You don't say.
Angela: (casually) Joey.
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Joey: What?
Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.
Joey: What?
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Which what?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
Joey: No, but he's...
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Joey: Oh my god.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: What?
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Joey: Come on, they're close.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
Joey: Hi-hi, Im Joey.
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
(Monica and Joey enter.)
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
Joey: Excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Joey: Whadja think?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Joey: Me?
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: My mom will.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Joey: Hi everyone.
Joey: What's up man?
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?