words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Joey: Thats always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Joey: Aaaah
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Joey: Really?!
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Joey: Oh my, oh my God!
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Joey: Hey! So?
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Well what do I know?! Im not a doctor!
Joey: You sure?!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Joey: Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Joey: Hey uh, whats with the candy?
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Joey: Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
Joey: Sure. "Monica."
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, I just I feel terrible.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: All right now, so? What do you think?
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: Well, I was due.
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Uh-huh!
Joey: Okay! When?!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: Obviously! So, how do we decide?
Joey: Morning!
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Joey: Pretty good.
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joey: Damnit!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Joey: What?!!
Joey: Bye-bye.
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!
Erin: Bye Joey. (Kisses him.) Last night was fun.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. (Ross just leaves.)
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (skeptical) What party?
Joey: Erin.
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Joey: (still skeptical) Yeah, look how that worked out.
Erin: Joey.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Yeah well we should order some food then.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series?
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Phoebe: Does Joey have any idea?
Joey: Okay. See you guys later.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go?
Joey: Great nap.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Oh. Oh.
Rachel: Joey