words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: What?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joey: Okay, all right.
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Joey: Fan out! Fan out!
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Joey: (jumping in triumph) OH YES!!!!!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: Huh.
Joey: I know.
(Joey finally wakes up.)
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?
Joey: What?!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Joey: (even more abashed) A place to eat spaghetti.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Joey: Well so, how come you blew me off? Y'know? How come you were with him?
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Joey: Who-ah-ho.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
Joey: Uh, yeah but uh, (In Drakes voice) I may have said those things before but, I never truly meant them. Until now.
Joey: Oh no! No!! My hole!!
Joey: Well, theres really only one thing you can do.
JOEY: Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Joey: Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. (gets up)
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: No?
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Joey: Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof!
Joey: Man, she is going to have a great time! Is she staying at the Hotel Corona?
Joey: Nope.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Joey: All right. (gets up)
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Joey: Oh, youre switching apartments?
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Joey: Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: I mean naked game. Strip poker, we should totally play strip poker.
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Rachel: Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
Joey: Pretty nice?
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
Joey: (to Chandler) Nana?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Joey: I took a shot.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Joey: Okay, good, good, good, cause, good, cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Joey: Yeah...