words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Joey: Oh yeah, I added three.
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
[Scene: A Street, Joey is walking by Kristen who is still moving in.]
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Joey: Boyfriend?
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Joey: Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Two days ago.
Joey: Oh yeah?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Joey: Obviously! So, how do we decide?
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: Yeah well we should order some food then.
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Joey: All right, well I guess Ill just have to do what I do on dates.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, (thinks) a slice (Thinks) six dollars?
Joey: Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars?
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
Joey: Well well see!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Joey: (entering) Kristen?
Kristen: Joey!
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh I like this place. And technically, technically Im not breaking any rules so I
Kristen: Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross.
Joey: Hi!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Ross: So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Joey: Monkey lover!
Joey: When do you think we lost her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Joey: How do you figure?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Joey: So, there was no miracle?!
Joey: Your chair?!
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Joey: Thats right!
Joey: Yeah! We are!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
(Rachel whispers in Joeys ear.)
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Joey: Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her!
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here!
Joey: Ahhh (To Rachel) Eh?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Joey: They do!
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Joey: Well actually
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Joey: Yeah!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Joey: Like what?
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Joey: Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Joey: No.
Joey: (entering, excited) Hey!
Joey: Nice.
Joey: And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!
Joey: Dude, you soooo need this car.
Joey: Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Joey: (quietly) My chair heels itself.
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Joey: Say what?
Joey: Umm
Joey: Oh uh, one of the writers.
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Joey: (quickly) I dont know. Why? Did you hear something?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Joey: See you in 2003. (She walks away.)
Joey: Joey.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Joey: I said name one!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Joey: (impressed) Wow!
Joey: Like-like what?
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"