words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Joey: Oh yeah, I added three.
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
[Scene: A Street, Joey is walking by Kristen who is still moving in.]
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Joey: Boyfriend?
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Joey: Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Two days ago.
Joey: Oh yeah?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Joey: Obviously! So, how do we decide?
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: Yeah well we should order some food then.
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Joey: All right, well I guess Ill just have to do what I do on dates.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, (thinks) a slice (Thinks) six dollars?
Joey: Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars?
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
Joey: Well well see!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Joey: (entering) Kristen?
Kristen: Joey!
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh I like this place. And technically, technically Im not breaking any rules so I
Kristen: Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross.
Joey: Hi!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Ross: So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Joey: Monkey lover!
Joey: When do you think we lost her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Joey: I took a shot.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Joey: Okay, good, good, good, cause, good, cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Joey: Sure, its hard to forget! But that doesnt mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, (to Chandler) ever talk about.
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is arriving, late.]
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Joey: Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. (Goes back into the hall)
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
Joey: Just pickle.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
(Joey just nods his head.)
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Joey: Its All Relative.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Joey: Im out.
JOEY: Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!?
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Joey: No he doesnt!
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Joey: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, Oh, Im so talented. and Oh, Im so pretty, and Ooh, I smell so good.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
Joey: What, what is it?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, absolutely.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: No-no, thank you.
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Joey: What?
Joey: No I didnt.
Joey: All right.
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Joey: Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (intrigued) Really?
Joey: Oh well, okay, good luck.
Joey: How? I guess I could break down your door.
Joey: Go get em Treeger.
Joey: No, Im good.