words in movies
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
Joey: What?
Joey: Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. (gets up)
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Joey: Me too. Alright, whattaya got.
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Joey: Check.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Joey: Oh!
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin?
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So?
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Joey: Ooh! So close.
Joey: Good for you!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Joey: Huh.
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridgeour new fridge!
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: (pause) You pushed him!
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Joey: Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it.
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Joey: Really?!
Joey: Call it even?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Joey: Sure! I was there! Spring Break 81! Woo-hoo!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
JOEY: Is he gonna be ok?
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Joey: Oh yeah, I definitely know her.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: What?
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.
Joey: Ahh, to be 13 again.
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Joey: Well, dont get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks!
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Joey: Well, its always nice to meet the fans.
Joey: All right well, Im outta here. Wish me luck.
Joey: Yeah, whatever. (Exits.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
Joey: Yeah, did I fool ya?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Joey: Oh yeah, I added three.
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Joey: The allergy guy got the part! Thanks!
Joey's Look-A-Like: Im Joey! How are you doin?!
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: Name one!
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!