words in movies
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Joey: Yeah, you do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Joey: What?
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Huh.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Joey: Done!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Ooh, we could end up with nothing.
Joey: Ooh, I like that.
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Joey: All right!
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
Phoebe: All right, Joey, same question.
Joey: Uhh, theyre tall.
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Uh-huh, not as high as (picks a card) It worked! King!
Joey: Why?!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Joey: That was one good minute!
Joey: Good night.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah!
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
(Joey joins him.)
Joey: Hey! (Singing) Get into gear!
Joey: (happily) Okay!
Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Joey: Ok.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Got it.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
Joey: Je do call blue!
Joey: pel.
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Me pooh pooh!
Joey: mah
Joey: pel.
Joey: je.
Joey: je.
Joey: Well hurry, I can't feel my ears!
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Phoebe: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: mah
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Gene: A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee...
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Joey: Sa-sa-saw!
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.]
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Would fall off a lot.
Joey: That I can do.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.]
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Joey: (enters) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey: (understanding) Oh.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: (frightened) What?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Joey: Hey, great! All right!
Rachel: Joey...
Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so...
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joey: Ok. Why?
Joey: Hello?
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.