words in movies
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Joey: She's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Joey: Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so
Joey: Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian?
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.
Joey: (walking past) True story! (Goes and sits down.)
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Joey: (smiling) Oh, they cut me out of the show.
Joey: (smiling) Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Joey: (smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)
Rachel: (smiling) Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault.
Grandma Tribbiani: (Something in Italian to Joey.)
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Joey: No-no-no, that-that's me, that's me.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Joey: I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey!
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Caitlin: I just, I thought Joey was there.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Grandma Tribbiani: Oh Joey!
Joey: That's right!
Joey: (on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it (the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Joey: (on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
(Joey and Chandler both run to shut off the tape.)
Joey: (to his grandmother) That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. Im Joey Tribianni.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Joey: Hey.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Hows she doing?
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Joey: What?
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Do you think well get our three bucks back?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Joey: Thats horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: What about the chick?
Joey: What cha doing?
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Okay.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Joey: But you said one.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Joey: So, so, whatd ya think?
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: Hey! Are you okay?
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Oh, classy.
JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'
Joey: Six.
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Joey: Whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: Oh, absolutely! Youre talented and youre good looking.
Joey: Kate, do you even like me?
Kate: You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, youre just so, youre so, so (She passes out and slumps against his shoulder.)
Joey: Two brothers, one died!
Joey: (entering, happily) Hey!
Joey: What?
Joey: Yeah?!
Joey: You-you think?
Monica: Joey, you had the night!
Joey: (does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
Joey: Sorry! Sorry, Im late; sorry, Im late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly.