words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
Joey: Okay.
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: No.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: They know you know.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted too.
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Joey: Ooh!
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Joey: It's not my first time.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Joey: So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Joey: What? I dont get it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Joey: If he goes first he can!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: No, we're alright.
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
Joey: Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? Shell come around I promise.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.
JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.
Joey: Alrightalrightalright. (Kisses him. Ross takes a photo) There.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
JOEY: Art.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Wow.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
(Joey tires of this, so he gets up to leave.)
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Joey: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
MONICA: Joey.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
JOEY: Page 42, page 42, page 42.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
JOEY: Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
JOEY: Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
RACHEL: Joey.
[Joey opens the door]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
JOEY: Hey.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?