words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
Joey: Okay.
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: No.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: They know you know.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted too.
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Joey: Ooh!
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Joey: It's not my first time.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Joey: So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Joey: What? I dont get it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Joey: If he goes first he can!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: You do attract some stinkers.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Joey: I'm so confused!
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
Joey: No.
Joey: Nighty-night!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Joey: Bye, bye.
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Joey: Ok! (Opens the door for them)
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
(The phone rings, Joey picks up)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Joey: Hey! (smiles)
Estelle: (on the other side of the line) Joey! It's Estelle!
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Joey: Right.
Joey: Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! (they do so)
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times??
Joey: Come on robot!
Joey: Way to go robot!
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
Joey: Hey, good race you guys.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Joey: Okay uh, look I know youre a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
(Joey comes running into the apartment, out of breath.)
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Joey: What did I just say?
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Joey: (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: What?
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Joey: And its not fake, its totally brutal.
Joey: You slept out here?
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Joey: Yeaah.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Joey: Actually we prepared performances.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)