words in movies
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.)
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
Joey: You do attract some stinkers.
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Age?
Joey: Im a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician.
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues?
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
Joey: A widower.
Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and hes not into anything weird sexually.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Joey: Rach come on, what?
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Joey: Sure.
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Ketchup!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Relish!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Joey: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Chickens?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Joey: (nervously) Yeah...
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
Joey: I-I-I don't know. Types of trees?
Joey: (sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... (5 seconds left)
Joey: Things that burn.
Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says.
Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.
Joey: Pssst...
Joey: (instantly) Pizza toppings, next!
Joey: Where? (looking around)
Joey: Girls Chandler could never get?
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Joey: So he can't come?
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Joey: Uh, hey.
Joey: (afraid) Yeah.
Joey: Seriously?
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Joey: Strike two!
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
(Joey comes out from his room)
Joey: I can come back.
Joey: Ewwwww!
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Joey: (almost crying) That was ME!
Joey: And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because �
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.]
Joey: All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Joey: I don't think they are.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Joey: I can scratch that right off.
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Joey: Yeah?
Ross: Uh Joey...
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Joey: Ok.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Got it.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]