words in movies
Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Joey: This will just be my batch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Joey: Put your hands together.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: No more jam?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where you going?
Joey: Sperm or regular?
Joey: So you're really doing this, huh?
Joey: Sounds nice.
Joey: No kiddin', hmm.
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Joey: Erin! Still here!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Monica: Joey!!
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Joey: Yeah?
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs?
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Hey Rach?
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?
Chandler: Joey!
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: Yeah lady! Give us candy!!
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)
ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Joey: (yelling) No! Drums!
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Rachel and Joey: Tequila!!
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Joey: I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Joey: Cage closed?
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey exits.)
Joey: Ill see you at 8:00.
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
Joey: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Monica: Joey, that papers like a year old!
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?
Joey: Well well see!
Joey: (entering wearing a Superman costume) Merry Christmas!
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Joey: What?! Tonight?!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Joey: Huh? Uh (He starts taking off his pants.)
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!