words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Joey: Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. (Goes back into the hall)
Joey: (Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Joey: Just pickle.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
(Joey creaks louder)
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Joey: Yeah-eh-eah! (Rachel glares at him) Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
The Salesman: (Entering before Joey can say anything) Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house?
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
Joey: No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
(Joey just nods his head.)
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
All: Nooo!! (Joey quickly stops nodding his head.)
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, The salesman is trying to sell Joey the encyclopedias.]
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: He cut off his ear.
Joey: Im out.
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Spocks birth control.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Joey: Oh, I-I think Im gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Joey: No he doesnt!
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: Ok, ok! (He leaves)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: Joey, wait!
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: LAURA! (and points to her, very confident)
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!
(Joey gets up and look annoyed)
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Joey: Oh.
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Joey: Center ice.
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Joey: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Dude, two times that happened!
Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Joey: I know, yeah.
Joey: (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Joey: I don't know...
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohhhh! These seats are great!
Joey: How late are we?
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Joey: Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.)
Joey: Yeah, where were you!
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Joey: (realizing) Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Ross: (to Joey) HEY!
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees.
Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from?
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
Joey: Sorry!
Joey: Ha!
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Joey: Oh-oh! I'm stuck!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
Joey: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.
Joey: It isn't working.
Joey: Oh, that smells good!
Ross: I gave them to Joey.
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Joey: Interesting...
Joey: It's really starting to hurt.
Joey: I left them at the park.
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
Joey: Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants!
Joey and Chandler: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
Joey: Oh, I know how you feel...
Joey: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
Joey: So... who's your friend?
Joey: OW, why, why, why?
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Joey: Saraaah.
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well...
Joey: Nope.
(Joey looks satisfied)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: ALL FOOD!
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs?
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!